Kai would only play with other girls and girls' toys. I started reaching out to more professionals, including a child psychiatrist who asked me, "If you and Kai were on a deserted island, would you let her wear girls' clothes? It made me nervous, and I was constantly worried about what people would think of me, of us and of my parenting. I thought, Okay, I could start with girls' panties. When I look back at photos of that day, I have mixed emotions: Regret that I made her suffer so long. That was just part of the Christian makeup I'd been brought up to believe. I tried so hard to force her into wearing clothes with camouflage and superhero patterns, and I even gave her severe, flat-top haircuts. Everything was fishing and spitting and boy stuff.
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