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They are the people with the problems — I'm actually fine. There was nothing else I could do …". She classifies it as emotional abuse. She waited till her parents next telephoned and told them there would be no more family meals, no more phone calls or Christmas get-togethers — no further communication, in fact. She exhausted me, drained me. Pat Frankish's advice, for people who experience extreme difficulties in an adult parent-child relationship, is to seek psychological help from a trained therapist. For most people, cutting off contact from their parents would be going too far, however impossible their family problems. Danu now runs a website for other women who also feel that they are victims of what she claims is adult child abuse. It's a question of whether you succumb or survive — and she has chosen survival.

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